Thursday, September 14, 2006
I kept putting this off and thinking "who am I when I look in the mirror" and the more I thought about it the harder it was for me. So finally I am here getting it done. When I look in the mirror I see...a daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend. There are very few times you will catch me in a bad mood. I love my smile and my big brown eyes. My hair is ok..wishing it was thicker but it thinned out when I got sick. I dont like my double chin lol but thats something I need to work on. Back when I was a kid I was always the chubby girl in school and didnt like myself but was always happy the older I got I learned that its what is inside that counts not on the inside. The last 4 years I have learned not to care with others think. I am me and noone can change that nor I dont want to change that. There are times I dont like me so much but very rare. I have choosen to do the wrong things in the last 4 years that makes me hate myself. I figured I have fixed them and stopped doing what was making me a bad person and making me someone that wasnt me. I dont know why I was doing these things...I guess it was a time in my life where I felt I was trapped and that was my way of feeling free. But as the time went on I was trapping myself even worse and build a huge wall around me and didnt know how to get out or how to stop..but I did and I am glad! It was something in life that I had to learn on my own because noone cared enough to help me through it. I had to do it on my own. NO ONE at all knows this about me. I know that it helps to talk about these things. I just havent had that one person in my life yet that I trust completely enough to talk about it and that wont ever judge me or use against me. Iam a very loving giving person and always think of everyone before I think of myself. Dont get me wrong it doesnt take long to think of myself right after I think of them haha! Right now I am happy with me in the mirror!